Simple Steps: Day 9: Smile

Some people are naturally more outgoing and socially enthusiastic than others. I am not one of those people. I try to be kind to others, make small talk with clerks, listen to my friends, and generally be pleasant. However, I am not an over-the-top, shoulder clapping, fist bumping, wink-and-a-nod kind of person. I smile when I feel happy or when I am trying to pretend to feel happy. Today, I am going to look people in the eye and smile at them. No need for pretend enthusiasm or faked friendship, just a simple smile. (See below for the epiphany that brought on this step)

Look below for how NOT to smile

Smile at people - friends and strangers alike.

When I was at the library yesterday, someone I didn't know looked right at me but didn't even appear to see me. It took me a few steps to realize that, as I walked by them, I lowered my head and tried to pretend like I didn't exist. This person had somehow made me feel insecure about who I was and what I was doing. They projected an air of superiority. The weird thing? It was a teenager. The worst part? I am an experienced teacher. But somehow in this setting everything changed a little. I didn't know this kid, I wasn't a teacher at their school. I was just some random person walking by them while they went about their life.

While I was inside and waiting for my son to finish up, I found myself thinking about the oddness of that interaction. Specifically, I thought about how many times people look past each other and the message that it sends. When it comes down to it, all of us (child, teenager, college student, adult) are just trying to get through our days. We all have our own sets of pressures and sources of pain to deal with while we have to continue to meet our social obligations. Sometimes that transpires by us pretending to not see one another, to treat strangers with disinterest or even disdain, to color our interactions through our own sense of self-importance or pain. The truth is that we are all trying to be happy - even if our means of happiness tend to differ.

I resolved to take this step as a start to correcting that problem. I will look at people - friends and strangers alike - and smile. I will try to remember they are just doing their best be make it through their day. I don't want to be the reason that someone else drops their head or feels as though they are intruding on my life. Sometimes my joy will be the cause of a smile, at other times let my smile be the cause of someone's joy.

Smiles to watch our for: